caveman.

okay, you know how on gmail they'll put links at the top of the page based on whatever's in your e-mail (scary, huh? they're actually reading your e-mails to direct you somewhere on the net...) -- like for example, when i clicked on this one e-mail i had sent out about these 20-year-old twins in wisconsin who had seen a girl's picture in the obituary section of a local paper and decided they wanted to dig up her corpse so they could... um... (well, hey, at least they bought condoms at the walmart on the way to the cemetary -- they aren't TOTALLY stupid) a link to an article about emilio estevez getting engaged came up. anyway, yesterday for some reason a link to this page came up on my gmail:

How to Draw a Caveman.

go ahead, click on it. this is what you'll learn how to draw:




how the hell is that considered a caveman? just because he has a beard? i have a beard. just because his hairline is receding? my hairline is receding. just because he looks kind of stupid? i look kind of stupid. but none of this makes me a caveman. or does it? maybe i am a caveman. but to me, this drawing looks like a goddamned stoner-hippie. we all know that cavemen have super-long hair, furrowed brows, and accessories like clubs and giant cellphones.



now look, i'm not the greatest artist in the world, but i do some pretty damn good doodles. just ask anyone who's ever worked with me -- my note-taking skills during meetings are top notch. here's a sample:



i draw freaking GHOST RABBITS! they are awesome -- much more so than smiling grateful-dead idiots. and, up for the challenge, here is my quick drawing of a caveman:



not bad. it kinda looks like my dad as a caveman. better than the hippie one. not as good as this one, though:



captain caveman rules.