remember that cute little nazi polar bear that won the hearts of millions and made it okay even for jews to say they like something about germany again?
well, knut's growing up fast and getting less cute by the minute. and apparently, as can be seen in the photos below, he's gay.
and the craigslist ad would read:
"single GWM, bear top, like my meat raw. looking for an older, hairy/masculine handler. if you bite me, i'll bite back ;)"
i learned a lot over the long, long year of 2006. about life, love, loss, lack-of-hydration -- many, many "L's."
i almost died. twice. the first time figuratively, the second time literally.
i've learned that regardless of bombs, technology, and the fucked-up egos of humanity, nature is still the most powerful force on the planet. and, as such, deserves respect.
i've learned that, yes, you do need to "keep your eye on the prize," but you'd better keep the other eye on the getting-there. because if you don't, you never will get there. and if you're not enjoying the process, then the prize probably isn't worth it.
i've learned that in life there needs to be "downs." because if there weren't, the "ups" wouldn't be... well... up.
i've learned that the only thing i know for certain is each present moment as it occurs. before it happens and once it's passed, i know nothing of it. because i'm in the middle of another moment. and thinking about the moments gone and yet to come just keeps you going in circles.
it's 2007. time to cast off my loathsome inheritance. time to divide and conquer with a confident smile.
i think i'm becoming a character from one of my screenplays. which is a strange thing to say since that character's creation was heavily influenced by parts of me.
today i was walking back to my office after lunch and suddenly became a bit dizzy. my vision shifted to that weird mode where everything looks glossy and starts to stretch (something that used to frequently happen to me as a child while waiting early mornings at the bustop. just me, no one else around, standing there, staring out at McQuistion Road, which would slowly and subtly start to "stretch," causing the other side of the road [where my brother once fell into a hole after getting off the bus -- now that's a story] to move further and further away from me. then i'd rapidly shake my head [like a shaggy dog? yikes!] and everything would snap back to "normal." [another thing that happens to me -- more frequently as a child, very rare as an adult {"adult" -- ha!}, but actually just happened a few days ago -- is that i will get "locked" into a stare, where for a moment or two i cannot break my gaze and become completely frozen. it appears as if i'm gazing intently at something {almost always an inanimate object or scene} but in reality, i'm not looking at anything solid -- i'm actually focused on a random, fixed point in space, aware of all the solid items around it like one would be aware of something out of the corner of one's eye. it's hard to explain, easier if you've experienced it. when it happens, i can hear people if they're speaking, but have difficultly responding until it's over. it's weird, but like i said, it doesn't happen that much anymore.]), and then it felt like i had tunnelvision. i kept walking, feeling very light on my feet and in my head.
note: i didn't draw this picture, but another guy named "michael" did.
strange things began happening. first, i started crossing the street and almost got hit by an old couple with a handi-capped placard hanging from their rearviewmirror. as they sped towards me, i noticed their trunk was open -- not just a little bit, but the whole way. when they passed, barely missing me, i expected to see something large, maybe a christmas tree ('tis the season...), that would account for the open trunk, but there was nothing. the trunk was empty.
as i continued down the sidewalk, a car quickly pulled up in front of the starbucks i was cautiously making my way past. a middle-aged asian woman got out and slammed her door. i was about to comment to her that she was parked in a red zone (the ENTIRE BLOCK is red, and yet she parked there), but then noticed she was wandering toward me like a zombie. i high-tailed it out of there.
it's about 3 hours later. i still feel a little weird. what could this be? am i turning into one of my fictional creations? am i experiencing some physical and/or mental anomaly? or was it just a result of getting the double-sauced meatloaf at boston market?
i'm curious to see how this will pan out. on the upside, if i start becoming more like the character, then i'll have more experiences to add to the script. on the downside, the script doesn't exactly have a "happy" ending. we shall see...
